Talk about a woman scorned, I was one! But before I tell my story about that, I'll get the second surgery out of the way. So I'd come through the kidney and liver transplant in about 1/2 the time of a normal transplant surgery and I remember the doctors waking me and say to me that I was a true miracle. At this time, I was still groggy from the anestesia, so I drifted in and out of sleep. I didn't know how long I'd slept this time, but I came to when I heard the dr tell my liver co-ordinator to get in touch with my husband because he was taking me back to surgery. That's the last I remember of that day, During the night, a nurse came in to wake me formedication to make me sleep, and I asked her if I'd dreamed about hearing the dr. He said no, that I had heard right. She pointed to the couch by the window and my husband was there sleeping and I woke him. He said that I had been bleeding internally and they had to go back in and they discovered that an artery had ruptured. They repaired it successfully. I don't remember ever being in any extreme pain and I asked why. I was told that for 1) I was being given morphine intraveniously and for 2), all my nerve endings in my upper abdomen had been severed in order to do the liver. Still today, almost 10 months later, I have no sensation in that area. Now to the rowdiness! For about 4 yr, I was at home alone while my husband carried on his work schedule. The last 1 1/2 years, I was basically bed-ridden because I fell alot and I'd go comatose from the amoonia levels. So when my husband would leave at 4:30 in the morning, he'd fix my breakfast and lunch and leave on the bedside table. All I could eat was plain white rice and ramein noodles, so he fix it at 4 am and go on his way. Therefore, by breakfast my food was always cold. And by lunch, there was a film on the ramein noodles! I wanted some hot food, but it was only hot when it was too early to eat! Now, fast forward to my hospital stay. First day for me to have solid food, they brought me French toast, scrambled egg and a bacon strip with a roll. I put my butter on my Frendh toast and it didn't melt! I took a bite and it was like they took it straight from the freezer to my plate and let it thaw. I called the nurse and asked if she would put it in the microwave and Jack got so mad at me and he told the nurse that it was ok! I told him that if it was ok, he could eat it himself, which he did. Lunchtime came around and I was served a cold chichen breast, cold buttered noodles and cold string beans! GRRRRR! I called again and the same scene unfolded. Now this went on for a solid week with the end result of my husband eating my food and me having only juice, milk and the salad that always came with lunch. I WAS HUNGRY and I wanted to eat my food! I asked to speak to my patient advocate and explained it to her and she investigated. The problem was discovered at last! The tray trolley that food was delivered from had a defect and the last row of meal trays had no heating element!  And, of course, I was the last person to be served.I was in room 91, so you know how cold my food was.  So, if my food was cold, that meant the 3 rooms before mune was having the same problem. With a new liver, my appetite was running wild!  I had lost a total of 103 lbs during my illness and now I wanted everything I could put my fingers on. One day I woke up craving a brownie and I threw a fit until my dr told my husband to bring me a brownie. He kept telling me that I was too thin and he put me on a 2200 calorie a day diet. AND told the dietician to make sure Iwas first served instead of last . That was the first day I recieved HOT food and the first time I ate all that was on my tray! Ten months later and I have put on 21 lbs and now the doc doesn't tell me that I'm too thin! Praise God! Now, I'll leave you with that until I return tomorrow to tell about my GPD! Good night all! My God, my God, my God! How GREAT Thou art! Thank You for giving me this second chance of life! Thank You for all the air You give so graciously for me to breathe and thank You for loving me! In Your Holy name, I offer my prayers to You!

Forreasons I have no clue as to why, the chronology doesn't seem right. All the things I write about are actual facts, but sometimes

I get ahead of myself. Wonder if I might be anxious, excited or maybe even dyslexic????? Ok, I forgot to say how frustrated my

husband must have been on the morning he was drivimg me to the transplant Center. We had never driven there at such an early

hour where it was still very dark. My amonia level was elevated and I was in and out of reality. I dosed for a few minutes and then

I'd wake and ask where are we going. Jack always answered me and said we're going to get you well. At one point during our 1 1/2

hr ride, I woke and saw flashing lights and casino signs and the pot of gold with the rainbow above it, and I asked him why he took

me to Las Vegas. I got rather huffy with him and told him to turn around and take me to Ochsner! He told me that he would and for

me to get some rest. Next thing I knew was when I was lying in a hospital bed and a nurse was there doing something. I asked for

Jack and the nurse said he was right outside the door answering questions for my doctor. I don't remember a lot about all the tests

they ran, but on one, my veins kept collapsing and the brought a different nurse in who was a pro at IVs. She was such a pleasant

person to be talking with. I asked her how long I'd been there and she said a few hours. I asked her when I was going to have my

 surgery and she told me as soon as my organs arrive. That's when I ask where they were coming from and she told me. I was be-

ginning to get filled with anticipation and when Jack got done with the dr, he came back to my room and I started to cry. He said he'd

let them know I was getting nervous. He did and the very next thing I remember was waking up with a belly ache and about 12 or so

IVs and tubes protruding from my arms and neck. There were about 8 or more doctors standing around my bed, asking how I felt.

Had I not been a Christian woman, I would have elaborated to them EXACTLY what I was thinking! Also, I was on a ventilator so they

wouldn't have understook me, LOL. I was given morphine for pain and to keep me knocked out for the rest of the day.Second day

after surgery came the old dreaded 'get up, it's time for a change' routine. They helped me into a chair and my husband sat next to

me to be certain that I wouldn't fall. Anti-rejection meds make you shake like you have palsy. My head bobbled and dropped, my

hands shook so bad the when I'd try to drink from a cup, I'd be throwing it all over everyone around me. And when they'd tell me to

go for a walk, my legs wouldn't hold me. So frustrating! After a few days of morphine therapy, I was given a 'weaker' medication

called oxycodene, a milder version of oxycottin (? spelling ?) I progressively improved, becme a very rowdy patient for all the right

reasons! I'll tell about that tomorrow and also about my second surgery. Til then, Lord Jesus, my Jehovah Jireh, my Provider, Jehovah

Raffe, my Healer! I thank yYou for what You've done in my life and what You are continueing to do. Thank You for my valleys, for it

was down in those valleys that I learned how to stand. I praise You, oh my Lord and I thank you for all the many blessing You've

bestowed upon such a filthy rag as I. Continue to watch over us by day and night and protect us in all that we undertake to do. Keep

our leaders in Your favor, Lord and put the right one in charge of Your people. Keep my son's family safe, my granddaughter, husband

and my entire bloodline. And Father God, please save the soul that is nearest hell this hour. I give You the honor and the glory forever!

A 

Now that I Have read what I wrote on Tuesday, April 29, 2008, I see that the program had dated it as

September 17. So I read the previous blog dated Sept 15, but that entry was, in fact, written in about

2006! How do you go and edit dates, I don't know. But, be aware that there were many months between

the two entries.

Evidently, this entry was  given a wrong date. hahaha It is showing Sept 17 as the date. The previous entry, called Whirlwinds, was in fact, entered on Sept 15, 2005, just after Hurricane Katrina. So, in essence, you need to fast forward this entry you are reading to the year 2007. (2 yrs + a couple days)

 PRAISE GOD FOR HE IS GREAT AND WORTHY TO BE PRAISED! It has been a year now since I have posted anything to my space because I have been gravely ill. If you've read my blog from 2004 to 2006, you'll know that I was suffering from cirrhosis. My ammonia levels in my brain stayed extremely high and affected my memory. I was hospitalized many time from 2006 to present. One time, I was in ICU on life support for a week. My ammonia level hit 489 and my dr said I would die within 45 minutes. But by the grace of God, I pulled through. And I'm alive and well today because of His love for me! When my liver shut down completely, so did my kidneys. I walked on a fine line between life and death. This happened in early 2006 and He kept me alive because my purpose was not yet fulfilled. On Wednesday night, July 18 (10:30 pm) I told my husband that I was dying and I could see bright lights. He raised my head and said " you stop that; you said you'd never leave me and I'm holding you to it!" I said I'd hold on as long as I could. At 3 am on Thursday July 19, I got a call, but my phone was out of order. I missed the phone because I couldn't figure out how to answer it. When my husband tried to call back, there was NO DIAL TONE! He hit the 'last number called' button and it sent the call directly to Ochsner's Transplant Center in New Orleans. They said I had organs for me and to get there ASAP! My husband picked me up and washed me and changed my clothes and his and we made it in 1 1/2 hr. My organs hadn't arrive yet and I was told they were coming from a far away place. I asked my nurse where they were coming from and she told me Puerto Rico. I later found out that she wasn't supposed to disclose that info, so I called her my guardian angel because she shared the info with me.

     Thank God, for today I feel like a new person due to my very active liver and kidney! I will try to remember to post on my spaces from now on.

Janice

It's been a month now since I've made an entry and lots of changes have taken place. The big issue is, of course, Hurrican Katrina and her path of destruction. I never dreamed that I would ever see another storm in my lifetime that would compare to Hurricane Cammille back in 1969. Well, Katrina did not compare....she surpassed Cammille by 100 %. Cammille destroyed many southern mansions that sat along Hwy 90 and moved a tugboat onto shore north of Hwy 90, but Katrina destroyed not only all the remaining mansions, but Hwy 90 itself. She didn't stop with tugboats, she moved casino barges onto the shore and twisted them around so they were heading the wrong directions. She tore down bridges and railroads and made whole cities disappear. Her 30 ft wall of water wiped homes out to sea leaving only slabs and foundations and death in her aftermath. I say God, in all His fury, is trying to tell us something. HELLO! People, it's time to wake up! This is only a foretaste of what is to come. What if this had been the 'real' thing? What if everyone heard that trumpet sound and knew they had missed the rapture? No one will be able to buy nor sell without that 'mark'. People will be killing to get food for their children. "Blood will flow up to the horse's bridle" in the streets. There will be screaming and gnashing of teeth. We have just witnessed these things taking place and, for sure, it has opened my eyes. God is not happy with the way people on the coast are living. Gambling was not acceptable in the days of Jesus and He made it known when He went into the temple and flipped over the tables of the 'moneychangers'. He said His place was not to be known as the 'den of theives'. What makes up believe today that Jesus is not able to flip over the casino barges as easily as He flipped over those tables in the temple? My prayer today is that God forgive us our tresspasses and lead us not into temptation. Turn from your wicked ways and begin to really live. God is alive and well and His son, Jesus, lives. Because I know He lives, I can face tomorrow! Thank you, God, for yet another chance.

   I REBUKE you, satan! Stop eating up my entries! I published a wonderful post this morning concerning the Holy Grounds I stand on in the Presence of my God.

I clicked on 'publish this entry' and what do I get? Only the title and the category! For what reasons do this happen? I WILL be back to resubmit my entry!

   Ok, Lord, what are you telling me here? I ask that You use me, Father, as a witness to Your Greatness and let others be able to see Jesus in me through the way I live my life. Remind me, Oh Lord, that the only one that has been with me ALL of my life is You and that You are what makes me who I am. Your word tells me that You were with me even before I was in my mother's wound and that You know the number of hairs on my head! And like the grains of sand in an hourglass, my days are numbered. I thank You, Lord, for each of those grains of sand.

   I've just read the local obituaries and have found 3 people within less than 3 weeks, well known to me, in that space. Deborah Anna Ladner Monroe, aged 54, was a childhood aquaintance. She passed away the first week of August on the 4th. Dr. Menon, aged 49, was my kidney specialist. He passed away the second week of Augist on the 9th and now, Carey Star, aged 55, Optician and childhood aquaintance passed away on August 12. These people are all considered to be in their prime of life. I've always heard that age 55 was the beginning of the 'Golden Years' and I have looked forward to this time in my life where I can begin to think of retiring and have a little rest and relaxation going on. I've worked hard all my life, usually holding down more than 1 job at any given time. I never expected that when I hit the magic age that I would be given a grim outlook on health. So I am here today to say 'I REBUKE you satan, in Jesus' name and I cast you back into the firey depths of hell from whence you came! You cannot come near me for I AM a child of God and He tells me that I can stomp you on the head! God gave me the power to do so. I say you can't touch me because God has covered my back and the precious blood of Jesus has cleansed me whiter than snow. I am protected by 10,000 angels camped around me as Jesus holds me in the palm of His hand and breathes new life into my body and soul."

   Thank You, Jesus for granting me such power! In Jesus' name I always pray.

   My Lord, my Lord! Thank You for setting my spirit free, for taking my burdens away from me! Walk with me each step of my way and guide my thoughts throughout this day. To You be the honor and the glory in Jesus' name.

   As I begin to feel llight hearted by sharing the stories I remember in my life, the darkness of the 'evil one' tries to invade my space. Today I awoke with great plans to go about telling others about my relationship with Jesus. I witnessed to a few people as we chatted over coffee in my home and told them how God had affected my life. We discussed some really deep thoughts on several particular scriptures, especially the one I spoke of in my entry yesterday...angels unaware. There were several occasions when we all had experienced these 'angels unaware' moments. Everything was upbeat and positive until my phone rang. The call was coming in from Memorial Hospital at Gulfport and the caller asked me if I were sitting down. I told her 'yes' and asked what was wrong. She told me that my kidney doctor, Dr. Menen, had passed away at 3 am and she wanted me to know before I read the obituaries the next day. He had been out for his jog, came home, and got on the phone with his partner and was talking when his son saw him fall to the floor. His son ran to get his mother and told her he thinks Dad just had a heart attack. He was taken to ICU, had stints placed and went on a ventilator, but his body couldn't take it and he slipped away in the wee hours of the morninng. So the 'evil one' once again took a piece of my joy, for I truly felt connected with this doctor. He never failed to say 'God bless you' when my visits were done and I would be leaving his office. More later.

   Thank You, my Father in heaven, for the short time I was allowed to know this child of Yours, my brother in Christ, Dr. Menen. I ask that You be with his family during their time of mourning and help them to understand, Lord, that no matter how big or small the problem, You are still in control of it all. In Thy Mighty name!

   Thank You, Lord, for yet another day that I opened my eyes. Thank You for the air I breathed this day and for the sunlight that bathed my body and made me aware of Your Divine presence. Help me to tell this story as it happened and not as people would believe that it was a fantasy or a figment of my imagination.

   Ok. Now, as I was telling it yesterday, I heard the voice of God telling me to look above. I wrestled in my mind as to why He would want me to do this while we had company, but I did as the Lord said to do. In the sky was the most breathtaking scene I had ever experienced...an angel in all her majestic purity. She had wings like those of a dove, only there was no end to them. Her hands were open wide as if to be welcoming someone in to the kingdom of God. This was the first time I actually pondered about something I had read in the bible with my Daddy.  Hebrew chapter 13 tells us to 'be not forgetful to entertain strangers; for thereby some have entertained angels unaware'. Mr. and Mrs. Art Lukey were definitely not strangers to our family, yet they were strangers to our house. They never entered anyone's home that I knew of...just went door to door telling people about Jesus and always bringing little crosses lapel tacs to the kids. I kept telling Mama and Daddy to look at the angel, but they kept trying to bring my manners out by hushing me up while adults were speaking. Finally all the adults looked up just as the angel was leaving and they were all white like sheets and speechless. It was the next day as Daddy was reading the obits, that he told us that Mr. Art had die last night. It was my interpretation of what it must be like to have angels 'coming for to carry me home!' The angel has come to help Mr. Art  and welcome him into God's kingdom. I can hear God saying to him 'welcome home, my true and faithful servant. Your job was done well!'

   Thank You God for preserving this memory in my mind! I ask that You use me in the way Mr. Art was used and that You will show favor in me as I reach out to people who are nearest to the lake of fire! Before it is eternally too late, Lord, send me directly to that person and put the words in my mouth that You'd have me to say.

  

  

  

   Lord Jesus, I thank You this day for the many blessings You've seen fit to grant me. Thank You for sparing my life and saving my soul. Show me the way to be the obedient child that You want me to be, for I love You and want to please You in all that I say and do. 

   Ahhhh! It's Sunday, I feel refreshed! I've had my daily dose of life-giving marrow to my bones! Sometimes I just sit back and close my eyes and I feel the song "I Want to Know How It Feels'. I want to look into Jesus' face and hear Him say 'well done, my true and faithful servant, come on in'. I want to know what it's like to walk streets of gold and run down by the 'river of life' and just to dangle my feet into the springs of living water. I want to hear Him say 'come unto me, my child...I will give  you rest! Hallelujah, what a homecoming day that will be! I'll see Mama and Daddy and Nita and Tommy and all who have gone on before me. I just want all my loved ones to know that Heaven is really real for I feel in my soul that I have journeyed there before. My first encounter with Jesus came when I was but a babe. Story passed down through the years tell of my illnesses and trials even when I was around 2 yr old. Suppossedly was not to make it through the night because of chronic bronchitis and pneumonia and family was called in. I told my Daddy to stop the crying cause Jesus was on the bed with me. I miracleously recovered. Around 8 yr old, Jesus sent an angel to me. An old aquaintence of our family, a Lutheran Pastor named Art Lukey, and his wife, Liz, had stopped by to check on our family as they often did on Sundays. They always stood on our front porch and talked. Jesus kept telling me to "Look above, my child'. As I did, I was totally awestricken! More on the rest of the story later.

   Thank you, Christ Jesus for speaking to us in such an awesome way! Let us always have an ear opened to hear Your call and becon Your command.

   I guess I'm allowed to enter 'mentally drained' under health and wellness. We all know that if we are not in the right state of mind, then we are definitely not well!  Lots of things going on this week for sure..........no doctor appointments, however. I was blessed tremendously at church on Sunday! The feel of the Holy Spirit was alive and well and I felt a complete renewing of my inner self.Testamonies were given by many in attendence from rehabilitated alcoholics to cancer survivors and all between. It was a wonderful service! Now if only I could have my spouse back in service with me, I'd feel so grateful.

   My concentration turns now toward my child, my son, whom I adore. If only he could see the light and know that the trials set before him are to only make him stronger! He has been dealt a dastardly deed and doesn't know how to handle it. He and his wife divorced in January 2004 and they were given joint custody of his daughter. His ex is now remarried and made a deal with Paul if he would adopt JaCinda to her new husband that all back child support would be forfeited. These papers were drawn up by an attorney and signed and noterized and a copy given to each party. Today, legal letter came saying Paul has 30 days to come up with back time or else. I'M MAD as a hornet and will not stop til this is settled justly.

   Well, til later............

   Thank God for antibiotics! Have been taking 2 different kinds since Saturday morning and feel so much better. Of course, the yogurt is disappearing like crazy from the fridge. There's one thing about antibiotics and that is to say they almost always leave you with the 'nasty itch' so I try to prepare myself and save that yummy yogurt for these special times. Oh, I almost forgot...don't ever take Ciipro or any other antibiotics on an empty stomach! You'll probably regret it if you do. Not only does it make you feel nauseous, it works the other end also. Big time! Know from experience! Any way, today os my 3rd day to take them, so only 7 days left. By then, I'll probably have a whole new topic to write about.

   Lord, I thank You for the trials You've allowed in my life. I have overcome them by keeping my eyes on You and not looking back. Thank you for making me to become more obedient in Your eyes, Lord and I ask that You forgive me wherein I have failed to please You. I love you with all my heart and soul. Your Daughter, Janice

   Ok.....so I went to the hospital! God gave me enough sense to know to seek help and not sit around til I bleed to death. So....I went for help. Was told that the urine sample was 'pretty impressive' by the nurse on duty in the emergency room. Didn't even resemble 'impressive' to me! I thought 'oh my God, my live blood is being flushed right down the toilet'. But I knew that after all the big fires I have walked through that this was just a tiny pebble heated by the sun's rays. This, too, shall pass. After spending a big part of the evening waiting to hear if I'd be admitted or not, the doctor came in and told me 'I have good news and I have bad news... good news is that your anemia level has not dropped to the point of needing to be transfused just yet and the bad news is that this is one massive UTI! All my counts were thrown out of whack from this infection. So I had to have a shot in the butt cheek and got put on prescription antibiotics twice a day for 10 days. So, you know exactly what that means! By fixing one thing that is broken, I will have to break something else. Yep, I can expect to be driven insane by the yeast infection that almost always follows antibiotics. OUCH! Just think of me when you pray and ask God's favor upon me.

   Lord, you know my needs before I even ask for I am Your child and a Father knows a child's needs. Lay a special healing touch upon me before the yeast infection can even get started, if it be Your will and pleases You to do so.  And if this is another trial You think I should endure, by all means, Lord, I'm willing to work through it. I will keep my eyes on You, Lord, and never look back. Thank You for my trials that have been used to strengthen my faith. In the lovely name of Jesus I pray!

Well, the bleeding is still happening, but I refuse to let the 'evil one' steal my joy! I am just going to rebuke him and go for help to the emergency room and know that after some rehydration of my tissues, I will be on the road to recovery once again.  In the meantime, I praise God for giving the doctors the knowledge on how to best handle my condition. I may have to be transfused, but I thank God that today the blood is scanned and tested and 99% safer than ever before. Likelihood of contracting AIDS, Hepititis, etc are at a minimum. Diane will pick me up and take me to ER when she gets off work at 4:30. Thank you, Lord, for my very best friend in all this earth. I truly love her. She is always there for me when no one else has time for me. I ask your blessings upon her and her family and I thank you for the work that you've done in their lives, especially through Ashley. Continue to work your miracles for our families and open our children's eyes to the Living Truth. I love You, Lord.

Janice

I've been slightly 'under the weather' for a few days and didn't write any entries in my space. I have been bleeding from radiation cystitis of the bladder since Friday night and it leaves me with a feeling of weakness. I try to not take my diuretics on days like those because the meds seem to amplify the condition. And I certainly don't want to ever have to be transfused again due to something  I can control. I just stay abed with my feet elevated to avoid swelling in my extremities. So I will give this condition until Thursday and if it continues, will call to see dr on Thursday or Friday. Dr Burwell told me that he could control the radiation cystitus by ordering hyperberic chamber oxygen therapy for me so that may be my solution if condition persists. The only day I saw no blood at all was Sunday. I hope the 'evil' one doesn't think I let my guard down every other day of the week! He's badly mistaken! But he figured he better not even try on Sunday because I have many prayer warriors working with me and the devil knows he is defeated before he even gets started!

   Most all of my body chemistry is within normal range at this time. However, my diabetic condition is again out of control. My A1C was at an outrageous 11.5 this time last year. Due to malfunctions in my liver, the numbers would drop to a dangerous low, then jump so high til I felt like my face was gonna explode. It was a feeling that can't quite be explained unless you've been there. My A1C dropped to a 6.5 in just a matter of months. Normal is between 6 and 7, so for a short while, I was at a perfect number. Now, it is climbing again like it was before the liver problem was diagnosed. I am insulin dependent, but also, insulin resistant. I rely on the amount of carbohydrates I eat to give me the appropriate amount of insulin I will require during my up time. In the evening, I take a rather large amount of human insulin to keep me through the night. My goal right now is to work with carbohydrates until I can look at certain serving sizes and automatically know how many carbs I'll be getting. Taking control is my goal! Now,

   Lord God, I ask that you give me the knowledge that I am going to need in order to take tight control of this family curse that is known as diabetes. My family has lost several of it's members to this debilitating disease and it is time that it be put to the past. No longer is diabetes a plague to my family for satan has no powers over me and I demand it stop, in Jesus Mighty name!

Ok..........I still don't know what happens to my entries from time to time. But I'll work on figuring that one out later. As for today.............I am feeling better and stronger than I have in months. My appetite is returning. As a matter of fact, I can't get enough to eat today! Went to Ward's for breakfast and had a sausage gravy biscuit and an egg with steak biscuit. Ate almost all of it, too! Urinary tract is free of infection, Ascites is under control, no cancer was found around my kidney through MRI imaging. I'd say that I'm well on my way to wellness as compared to this time last year. I was not able to walk without use of a cane, then went to a walker and eventually was confined to wheelchair. I feel His Divine touch as I type! It has been since April 11 that I was last drained. By the grace of God, it will be many more months before it has to be done again. And if it be His will, it will never be done again. My anemia is much improved now by the weekly shots I need to build my blood. However this, too, shall pass. I just needed a boost to start my engine, but now I am chugging along, God speed. I thank you, most Gracious Heavenly Father, for what You have done in my life and for what You continue to do. Help me always to remember that regardless the situation that befalls me, You are in full control of it all. And I thank You for allowing me these stumbling blocks in my pathway, for they only make me grow stronger in my faith as I daily walk with You.

Guess the cybergoblins ate my entry that I made late evening yesterday. Can anyone give me clues as to where these entries actually go?

   Just as a little baby feels safe in the arms of it's mother or father, I feel that safety under the shadow of my Almighty Father, God. At times I fall and the 'human side' of me pokes it's ugly head out of that rhealm. It is then that I am totally consumed with fear of the unknown...I wonder just what is happening to me and often wonder 'why me'. I'm a good person. I have gone to church all my life and praised God. I never abused drugs nor alcohol and here I am dying with a drunkard's disease. My brothers were both alcoholic as were many of my cousins, nephews, neices, my father-in-law and my husband. And most of them walk around in great health right now. (My father-in-law passed away in the 80's from a massive heart attack and one of my brothers died after surgery to remove bladder due tcancer.) I realize that it is none of my busiiness to question God, so I get back to the promises he made to me in His Word.

Psalms 91:1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

Psalms 91:2 I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Psalms 91:3 Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.

Psalms 91:4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

Psalms 91:5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;

Psalms 91:6 Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

Psalms 91:7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

Psalms 91:8 Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.

Psalms 91:9 Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;

Psalms 91:10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

Psalms 91:11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

Psalms 91:12 They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

Psalms 91:13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.

Psalms 91:14 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.

Psalms 91:15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.

Psalms 91:16 With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation

This wonderful chapter of the Psalms is filled with reassurance!

Just as I expected, absolutely no pain in the urinary tract this morning! For precautionary measures, however, I will go back to taking low dose sulfur meds to prevent future flareups. Was on these meds for years when my physician diagnosed cirrhosis and discontinued all meds except insulin.  Slowly my meds were re-introduced to my system, but not before UTI was running rampant. My previous medical 'quack' had dealt with my conditions for 10 yr and never had an inkling that my liver may be the problem. He kept telling me to get rid of that fluid and kept increasing my diuretics. I was taking 80 mg of lasix daily, plus 20 mg demadex a.m. and 20 mg p.m. I became severely dehydrated and started to hemmorage from the bladder and Dr. Quack wouldn't even admit me to the hospital. I ended up so weak that I couldn't even sit alone without falling over. I went to the emergency room 2 days later and was admitted and immediately transfused by 2 pints. That ended up being a 6 day vacation in a hospital bed. On the very first visit I made to my present primary care physican, he diagnosed me and I went immediately into the hospital. Ascites  was  extremely evident and I had my first parasynthesis, or draining, and lost close to 30 lb during the hr long process. They drew off 9.5 liters from my abdomen. From here, it became a routine visit once a week to be drained.This went on from November 2004 until February 2005 when I was sent to Ochsner's Foundation for evaluation for liver transplantation. It was decided that I was in end stage liver disease because of the ascites and was set for installation of a TIPS or Transjugular Intrahepatic Portosystemic Shunt. This stent redirects blood flow through the liver and takes some of the pressure away. All these frightening conditions being thrown at me was more that I could humanly absorb. I had a talk with God and told Him that I couldn't deal with it any more and He reminded me that the Word says 'I will never leave thee nor forsake thee' and 'come, ye that are heavy burdened'. So I laid it all down at the foot of the cross and He is carrying me through the fires. He said to 'keep your eyes upon Jesus and don't look back'. Whatever life sets before me, I can endure for 'He gives you much because He knows you can handle much'. God hasn't brought me this far to just drop me in a rut somewhere. Psalms 91 tell us that 'he who dwells in the secret place of the most high, shall abide under the wings of the Almighty'. Lord, help me to remain under your wings of love that I may be a testimony to someone who is nearing the gates of hell this hour, especially let me be food for thought for my friends and family. In the Mighty name of Jesus!